Karuna Pillai

Dear Kayden and Jaanaav, This message is from the Menons, a family that was very close to your mother Karuna and her family, and that loved them very much. We spent a lot of time with the Pillais when the kids were teenagers, and they were some of the best times and most treasured memories of our lives. The Pillais looked after Vilas when he was a scared, 17-year-old boy in Australia for the first time. Your family’s home was a 2nd home for the Menons to come visit on weekends. A lot of chats, and making fun of each other, and backyard cricket, and playing charades badly. Your mother was energetic, charismatic, thoughtful, courageous, and kind. She was funny, just like her father. We miss them both very much, and we will always feel gratitude and love for them. We look forward to spending time with you, and seeing them in you. Take care, and be in touch. Love, the Menons – Puja, Vinay, Vilas, Nikki, Maya and Jay

Dear Karuna, The good memories that I have of Ranhill Worley was the time I had with you and Jenani. So much laughter and joy that would echo from the walls of that building. I would call you my super friends and whenever one of us made a distinct bird sound from our cubicles we knew we had to be there for the that person. I miss those times and those memories always makes me smile. You always had an amazing way of making people gravitate towards you, with your warmth and larger than life laugh… oh, how I miss that laugh! You always made those around you feel included and comfortable. And always the first one there whenever anyone is in need … especially when they make a weird bird sound from their cubicle. I miss you and thank you my super friend.

Dear Kayden and Jaanav, Like Mark, it has taken a long while for me to feel like I can write something to you. The passing of a New Year often prompts reflection and it certainly brought many memories and emotions flooding back for me. I read Mark’s words and, as always, he’s put things much better than I ever could. Heart-breaking that she was taken from you so soon. All we can do is to try and tell you a little of what Karuna was like and what she meant to us and hope that this provides some inspiration or uplift if you’re down. Your Mum, Karuna (or KP), was a true friend who had the ability to light up any room with a smile and a witty remark. Always quick with a slaying quip, but never malicious. Always optimistic, she didn’t ever let any challenge or disadvantage set her back. Proud of her heritage but not bound by norms, expectations or stereotypes. Fiercely independent, courageous and lived life with no regrets. She had a mantra of not letting negative people take up any of her time - she would just move on without getting dragged down. Perhaps she knew how precious her time was? She loved to travel (although warm and luxurious was her style, rather than backpacking or trekking!). Keep your brother close, as KP kept her family close, despite the physical distances involved. Travel, meet people, be fun, be positive, be independent, be courageous, be a bit of KP and your world will be a happier place, like she made it for her friends.

Dear Kayden and Jaanav, It took me a little while to get around to writing this. I couldn’t face up to sitting down and writing it for some time, because that meant facing up to the fact that she’s not here anymore. Losing people you love is very painful. But I need to tell you some things about this amazing person, about your mum. During much of the time we worked together in Atyrau, your mum and I were best friends - inseparable almost. We shared the experience of living in Atyrau like children, and there was nobody in the world to better enjoy it with. She brought energy and fun to every situation and people were drawn to her warmth wherever she went. We became friends from the moment she arrived in Atyrau. Most nights we would meet up in the Worley bar after work to chat about stuff over a beer or two, and on Saturdays we would almost invariably hit town and stay out till the early hours in either Joy or Tofu. She loved music and dancing and did not mind a drink, and we partied like they were going to ban it. It was a wonderful time and we didn’t want it to ever end. We lived in adjoining apartments on the first floor (second if you are in Kazakhstan) and I would sometimes hop over the balcony from my place to hers to chat or hang out with her after work or on Sundays, to lick our wounds from the previous night’s partying. We both liked watching horror movies and were both too scared to watch them alone, so we watched the full series of ‘The Haunting of Hill House’ together. This was usually at my place. She was the untidiest person I ever met and unless I was drunk, I felt the compulsion to tidy up her place before I could even sit down. She once threw a party at her place, and next morning I jumped over the balcony and found her apartment something akin to a war zone. As she was getting ready, I thought I’d help out and tidy things up a bit. Next day she was circulating a video of me vacuum cleaning her floor, to the great amusement of my colleagues. You can only humiliate a person in response to them helping you when you’re a close friend! She was razor-sharp. I would joke with her that she never seemed to over-exert herself at work, but the truth was that she was so bright that she made very hard things seem easy. And her sense of humour had a similar sharp edge. It became my hobby to provoke her with some stupid jibe, just to hear her response. She never once disappointed me. Sarcastic put-downs were a particular speciality for her and she excelled in them. I would sometimes (completely inaccurately of course) accuse her of being ‘Indian when it suited her’, which she would handle with a withering eye-roll, not even dignifying it with a verbal response. In fact she was proud of being both Malaysian and Indian, and she seemed to me to draw strength from both cultures, whilst being constrained by neither. Though she hadn’t been brought up there, she almost seemed to be British to me sometimes, to the extent that it would shock me when I discovered that she had never heard of ‘Fawlty Towers’ or some other British cultural icon. It sounds cliched, but in her case it’s true that she was a citizen of the world. A free individual in every sense, she was unconcerned by notions of race, nationality, gender, wealth or social standing. She was way too smart to allow any kind of social dogma to dictate how she lived her life, and she lived it to the full. But always with a care for others and a desire to make others happy on her journey. That she should meet and marry your dad seemed like karma to me. That two such exceptional people should be together and have kids is how the Universe ought to work. I loved her. I’m proud and privileged to have known her and I will miss her till the end of my days. Smile and be proud each time she enters your thoughts.

Your mother Karuna was a wonderful and beautiful human being. She was filled with passion, positivity, energy and joy, and she made all in her presence feel that joy. That’s certainly how she made me feel, and this world is a much, much poorer place without her in it. I worked with your mother on two projects in the UK, and she brought that same energy into her work. She was a bright engineer with a very sharp and curious mind, the consummate professional that we all had full confidence in. It was an absolute pleasure working with her as the days passed more easily in her company. I also remember the fun times when we were just able to hang out and talk, and we’d talk about all sorts of things from family to cricket to music. I’d usually leave our conversations with a smile on my face. And that to me was part of who your mother was. After talking to her, you’d generally walk away feeling better. I have no doubt your mother is still guiding you both because she is part of you. She was truly a wonderful and caring person who lived her life to the fullest and set a brilliant example for you to follow.

Hi Karuna, your departure comes as a great shock. Deepest condolenfes to your family. Though we were never close by any means, I will all always remember you for graciousness and fun loving nature. You have taught me a great deal of acceptance and how to enjoy life as it comes. You will be sorely misssed

We went to middle to high school together. I loved her carefree nature and love for life !! I almost can’t believe this but she will be missed Stay happy wherever you are

Last saw Karuna was almost 30yrs ago, but she is remembered for her laughters, which made up a part of my happy high school memories. May Kayden and Jaanav also fill their lives with laughters, creating lots of happy memories!