Rich Smith 2021-03-22 23:19:18 wrote:

" How very Dare you!!” I have spent many hours over many days over this past year trying to put words together for my Mum, but I keep coming to these 4 words...”How very Dare you!” It’s something she said to me a LOT. Normally as I was being a cheeky so and so, commenting on her culinary skills (she was actually a good cook), commenting on the amount of ‘stuff’ in the house ready for an apocalypse (she was smiling during the first lockdown cause she had all the toilet roll or tins of food and wine already stashed away!!) or hunting through the abundance of out of date food stuffs she insisted on keeping in the cupboards. I think 11 years Out of Date was the record but could be wrong..... I like to ‘see her’ looking down just now thinking “dammit, they got to my fridge and finally managed to clear THAT attic out” She was always there for me, every day, through childhood and adulthood. I knew that all I needed to do was pick up the phone anytime and she would be there on the other side, listening intently and imparting advice when it was suitable. She was a good listener, a great guider, she had time for everybody. I think that’s what makes this extremely hard. Not only for myself or my family, but she left a large empty space for her friends too. I’m far from perfect and could be a little sh** at times, especially as a teenager, but no matter what I did, my Mum was always there for me and I am extremely grateful for that. She was special. Thanks Mum. Everyone says that you don’t actually grow up until you lose a parent. It’s so true, I have struggled to get my head around what’s happened, Covid doesn’t help, Covid sucks , cant even grieve properly, cant even have a proper funeral or send off that she deserved. It’s not fair!!! What I wish more than anything is that I didn’t have to grow up!!! I just want to hear that laugh one more time, that infectious laugh, that smile, that smile!!!!! I’m smiling right now just thinking about her smile, I will never forget that!!!! So what more can I say? Fee, my Mum was larger than life, she enjoyed company and certainly made company more enjoyable. I love her so much and miss her more than words can say, I think about her everyday, she made me into the person I am today, taught me right from wrong, taught me to respect others, be kind, to enjoy myself and to not get bogged down in all the rubbish stuff. She made me laugh, she made me cry, she loved me and for that I am extremely grateful. “How very Dare you Mother!!” If only you could still be here, just for a bit longer.... Marley (our lovely little girl) has lost someone special too, I’m so glad that she had some time with Mum, but has been robbed of some fun times with Grannie as she grows up. When Mum passed the first words that she said was “but she was always kind to me!” That sums it up really. Kind and generous to a tee! Taken too early, far too early, taken with so much more to give. Taken in a bloody Pandemic!!! Typical of Mum, always dramatic... Wherever you are Mum, please keep shining!!! I love you Mum xxx